Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. In addition you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, finances, age dissimilarity, religious education, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married woman date.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affairs. I think mainly though it is just the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody can switch the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You will need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they are comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his woman for a large humber of reasons. As a man I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us men of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just grown distantly, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.